A Little-Known Secret Behind Many High Achievers
How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
Picture yourself about to give your first executive briefing or face your final set of interviews for your dream job. Your heightened level of excitement may only be matched by your overpowering feelings of pure dread. When taking on a new role or tackling a high-visibility project, there’s a vast difference between a healthy sense of nervousness and a crippling case of self-doubt, especially in the face of real accomplishments.
And while on the outside you beam a notably confident smile, on the inside you may feel anything but successful causing you to devalue your skills and downplay your success.
Credit: Katarzyna Bialasiewicz
Whether you call it self-doubt, apprehension, or “imposter syndrome,” excessive self-criticism doesn’t work well as a strategy for career success. After all, why would you take on additional responsibilities or calculated risks when deep down you feel like a fraud?
I know these self-imposed limits can loom large, but there are powerful actions you can take to get yourself unstuck and back on track. Quickly.
If you’re familiar with Boston, you know its meandering roads curve and tangle with no particular sense of orientation. Some say it’s because they were originally formed back in the1600s from cow tracks. As cows padded from outlying farms to the town center, they put one foot ahead of the other in whatever direction made it easiest to dodge boulders, trees, steep hills and getting stuck in mud. They followed the path of least resistance.
In a similar way, we can avoid getting stuck in our own relentless dialogue of self-judgment and create new paths that propel us forward in far more positive and productive directions. As Triston Francis says:
“I no longer view it (‘Imposter Syndrome’) as a weight on my shoulders… I have come to co-exist with the feeling, manage it, and appreciate its benefits.”
Our thoughts influence our feelings which influence our actions. We know when faced with a new assignment, coveted promotion, or major career change, it’s easy to slip into the downward spiral of feeling unqualified, incompetent, and fearful which is a sure-fire way to block our potential route to success.
However, following this three-step process can sabotage that habitual downward spiral and redirect our focus to a more balanced view that inspires new insights and drives constructive actions:
Acknowledge: When you notice an anxiety producing thought, or trigger, acknowledge that thought so you can examine it. For example, “I’m not qualified to meet with our important new client. They’ll think I’m incompetent. I’m afraid I’ll fail.”
Assess: Step back a moment and evaluate the thought as only a working hypothesis. Ask yourself, Is it true? Not true? What else is true? For example: “They didn’t ask me to meet this client because I’m the most experienced. They want me to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the meeting.”
Act: After you’ve reassessed the thought, commit to taking decisive action. For example, “As the newest member of the team, I have the most to learn. I’ll do it!”
We all experience moments of feeling that we don’t measure up, of being judged, or not fitting in. But as Amanda Irizarry, Stanford MBA 2023, wisely points out:
“…these are also the moments that can build a deep sense of resilience and grit.”
By turning away from unrealistic doubts about your qualifications or hard won achievements, you can redirect your focus and persist, even thrive, despite challenges. Using this three-step process allows you to realistically evaluate your situation and make an informed decision about next steps.
To discuss your situation or consider a 90-minute virtual workshop for your team, contact me at:
Mayla Clark is a respected communication skills coach and well-known workshop leader creating invigorating learning experiences for clients in high-tech, law, medicine, venture capital, and the non-profit sector.
Her clients include Amazon, Bailard Inc., Cisco Systems, FormFactor Inc., Hewlett Foundation, Kleiner Perkins, NetApp, Pricewaterhouse Coopers, Proofpoint, and Stanford University.
825 San Antonio Rd. Palo Alto, CA. 94303 Suite 204